Before or After

Every now and then - something happens that just leaves you at a loss for words...

One of those things happened to me this weekend. I was at a bachelorette party when one of the guests - who I don't know well - looked at me and said, "Does anyone ever tell you...." I cut her off with, "...that I look like Farah from Teen Mom?" I have been told this by several people.

"No," she said. "I was going to say Bristol Palin."

I responded with, "Before or after she rearranged her face."

The girl then went on to talk about how she looks gross now - but never answered my question. So I will hope she meant the better one - which ever that might be.

Pretty Little Liars

I know my television selections aren't overly mature but I can't help it - I get sucked in. 

Very much looking forward to this tonight!

BUCKLE UP, GIRLIES. NOTHING IS AS IT SEEMS. —A

Ramen noodles are the cure all for life

I know this might seem strange but I fully believe Ramen Noodles, the main staple of any college student’s diet - are a gift from the food gods. 

I know somewhere Martha Stewart and that guy from Top Chef are shaking his heads at me but let them disapprove. 

I know that Ramen – especially the original flavor – is a secret .29 cent cure for the following: food poisoning, a hangover, a bad mood, a cold night, when you are broke, a cold, the flu, strep throat – you name it. I have had all of the above and testify before you that a package of Ramen Noodles makes everything better.  

I would be lying if I told you that I don’t keep at least one package around for emergencies. 

Food Wars

EDITOR'S NOTE: I found this post that I never put up and thought I should share it even though it is old. Drafted sometime in March.

I have two funny stories that have to do with food.

Mr. Banana is not my friend.

I brought a banana to work on Wednesday. I am very picky about my banana consumption - meaning I don’t like them to be at all brown on the outside. In fact, I prefer them to be almost yellow-lime in color. Not sure why but it is what it is. Anyhow…I was opening said banana and a part of the inside of the peel flew off and hit me right in the face and left eye!

First of all – I was stunned. Who knew that could happen when you open a banana. To be honest, I thought someone threw something at me from another cubicle. I mean, if a monkey can open a banana without a problem, then I should too.

I went to the bathroom to try and fix the situation and there were banana pieces in my eye – which was also bloodshot and red by this time. Not to mention the pain I was experiencing every time I opened and closed it. I did the best I could with what I had at my disposal – water and a paper towel and headed back to my office.

The pain continued all day. And I’m pretty sure that the projectile banana peel scratched my cornea. You might be thinking – Geez…Ale really has issues with her eyes (See story about my first trip to the eye doctor.)

Or, maybe I should just wear those athletic glasses/goggle things nerdy kids wear in elementary school basketball…  

Only in Milwaukee

Last weekend, there was another giant sinkhole in Milwaukee – this time it was even closer to my house and it swallowed two cars. Sounds safe doesn’t it.

Anyhow, there is a near by restaurant called Stubby’s (not a typo) and to honor this event – which the restaurant is no doubt being negatively impacted by the sinkhole – they came up with this:

"Everything But the Kitchen Sink Hole Burger." It is a towering stack featuring, well, bacon, cheese, chili and a slew of other things - a house salad is in there with a chipotle ranch dressing. There are six different meats (pulled pork, a slice of meatloaf, a one-pound burger, two slices of bacon, one brat and beef brisket).

You can read the full article here: http://www.jsonline.com/blogs/lifestyle/118177294.html

Here is the thing – there are people out there who will eat this. Maybe that guy from the food network that eats all the big stuff will stop by. However, I know one thing for sure – I won’t be one of those people for two reasons. A. I don’t want to eat all that. And 2.) I don’t want to be swallowed up by another giant sinkhole on Milwaukee’s East Side.