Food Wars

EDITOR'S NOTE: I found this post that I never put up and thought I should share it even though it is old. Drafted sometime in March.

I have two funny stories that have to do with food.

Mr. Banana is not my friend.

I brought a banana to work on Wednesday. I am very picky about my banana consumption - meaning I don’t like them to be at all brown on the outside. In fact, I prefer them to be almost yellow-lime in color. Not sure why but it is what it is. Anyhow…I was opening said banana and a part of the inside of the peel flew off and hit me right in the face and left eye!

First of all – I was stunned. Who knew that could happen when you open a banana. To be honest, I thought someone threw something at me from another cubicle. I mean, if a monkey can open a banana without a problem, then I should too.

I went to the bathroom to try and fix the situation and there were banana pieces in my eye – which was also bloodshot and red by this time. Not to mention the pain I was experiencing every time I opened and closed it. I did the best I could with what I had at my disposal – water and a paper towel and headed back to my office.

The pain continued all day. And I’m pretty sure that the projectile banana peel scratched my cornea. You might be thinking – Geez…Ale really has issues with her eyes (See story about my first trip to the eye doctor.)

Or, maybe I should just wear those athletic glasses/goggle things nerdy kids wear in elementary school basketball…  

Only in Milwaukee

Last weekend, there was another giant sinkhole in Milwaukee – this time it was even closer to my house and it swallowed two cars. Sounds safe doesn’t it.

Anyhow, there is a near by restaurant called Stubby’s (not a typo) and to honor this event – which the restaurant is no doubt being negatively impacted by the sinkhole – they came up with this:

"Everything But the Kitchen Sink Hole Burger." It is a towering stack featuring, well, bacon, cheese, chili and a slew of other things - a house salad is in there with a chipotle ranch dressing. There are six different meats (pulled pork, a slice of meatloaf, a one-pound burger, two slices of bacon, one brat and beef brisket).

You can read the full article here: http://www.jsonline.com/blogs/lifestyle/118177294.html

Here is the thing – there are people out there who will eat this. Maybe that guy from the food network that eats all the big stuff will stop by. However, I know one thing for sure – I won’t be one of those people for two reasons. A. I don’t want to eat all that. And 2.) I don’t want to be swallowed up by another giant sinkhole on Milwaukee’s East Side.